Looking at Sex through the Lenses of Proverbs 5
By Ptr. Philemon Tie
(UEC-Balintawak)

As I pen these words, the sex scandal of Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili has escalated to the heights of its popularity in the Philippines; both have just been subpoenaed to appear before the court. Though this breach of moral etiquette is worth addressing and it should be addressed with, another more deadly and newsworthy issue, the AH1N1 virus, is eclipsed by the sheer scope of the sex scandal.

Sex – a wonderful act of copulation and pleasure between two people (and please note, I am not writing from experience), has so permeated our present society that people no longer think it is wrong to indulge in it before marriage. The decadent morality of our culture has reached the point where wrong becomes right when it feels right, when it is pleasurable and enjoyable.

For the record, graduating from a Christian school is no guarantee that the person is a Christian or at the very least follow some form of biblical principles. What is sadder is that at times, people who profess to be followers of Jesus Christ indulge in the act and talk about it as if it is no big deal.

Sex is so common place now, why should we even worry about sexual sins? Well, the simple answer is because God commands us so in the Seventh Commandment. Warren Wiersbe tells us, “Sexual sin is one of the main themes of numerous movies, TV programs, novels, and short stories; yet popularity is no test of right and wrong. Many things that the law says are legal, the Bible says are evil.”

God’s Word reveals to us the benefits of godly sex versus the consequences of using His gift in the wrong way. Proverbs 5 shows us that sexual sin is eventually disappointing. Wiersbe further explains, “God created sex not only for reproduction but also for enjoyment. He didn’t put the ‘marriage wall’ around sex to rob us of pleasure but to increase pleasure and protect it.”

God is not a “killjoy”; after all, He was the one who designed sex in the first place. But as always, our enemy, the devil, tempts us to use what God gave us – the gift of sex – in the wrong way, which is outside of marriage and with different partners, and thereby corrupts it into something wrong. What happens when people are tempted and commit sexual sins? There are four principles we can learn from the Bible.

1. Our experience goes from sweetness to bitterness (v1-6). The initial encounter of sex may taste sweet like honey; but in the end, it turns bitter and the honey becomes poison.

2. Our temptation goes from gain to loss (v7-14). Temptations include promises of hope and delight. Otherwise, people will not take the devil’s bait. At times, it seem like these promises have been fulfilled but it only gives false assurance. Verses 11-14 show us the voice of regret in those who gave in. While it is true that God does indeed forgive His children when we genuinely repent, it’s also equally true that we will reap the negative consequences of what we have sown with our action.

3. Our experience goes from purity to pollution (v15-20). King Solomon likens the enjoyment of married love to drinking pure water from your very own fresh well. It’s exclusive and may sound selfish but it really isn’t. After all, we don’t share our spoon or toothbrush with other people now, do we? These are for our personal use.

Committing sexual sins is like pouring the clean, beautiful water from our underground river out into the streets. It pollutes the water due to a wasteful, useless act. It’s like using our toothbrush to clean the toilet then using it to brush our teeth afterwards. Yuck! No one would even think of doing that! But sadly, there are people who have the same attitude when approaching sex.

The abstinence of singlehood and commitment of marriage protects the purity and growing satisfaction of love between husband and wife. In contrast, those who had sex before marriage can become unsatisfied with their spouse because their previous partners might have been more skilled in bed. Extra-marital and pre-marital affairs are ultimately shallow and unsatisfying.

Solomon admonishes the husband to be “intoxicated” or “ravished” with his wife’s love. The adulterer, fornicator, and the rest of those who commit sex outside of marriage will see their precious well turn into a sewer. But the faithful husband sees the water in his well become the finest wine and is intoxicated by it.

When husband and wife, along with single ladies and gentlemen, are faithful to the Lord and honour the Scripture, they won’t try to find satisfaction elsewhere or look for “greener pasture.”

But you may ask, “If, however, in a moment of weakness we gave in, what happens then?” My answer is, “All hope is not lost.” For the singles, we can come before God anew in humble repentance and pledge ourselves to be spiritual virgins until it pleases the Lord to unite us to our future spouse. For the married couple, again a sincere repentance in God’s presence accompanied by a renewal of your marriage vows to be faithful “till death do you part” can in time bring forgiveness and acceptance. The important thing is to avoid the people and places that tempt us. Know where you are weak and find trustworthy people to hold you to account. Reinforce your defences with God’s Word from the Bible.

4. Lastly, our experience goes from freedom to bondage (v21-23). Wiersbe points out that “freedom of choice is one of the privileges God has given us, but He instructs us and urges us to use that freedom wisely.” God has also given us His law to point out the path leading to life. When we walk down this road, we experience the freedom of God’s grace.

The deceit of sin is that it promises freedom but only brings slavery (John 8:34). “Do you not know that to whom you present yourself slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death or of obedience leading to righteousness?” (Romans 6:16)

Most celebrities and in all likelihood, many others as well in our country have violated God’s command.

Now, instead of sweetness, there is the bitterness of scandal and shame;
instead of gain, there is the loss of reputation and standing in society;
instead of purity, their name and character is forever polluted;
instead of freedom, there is sex addiction and shallow bragging rights.

Are we included in this list? Let’s hope not. What is the solution? Again the answer is simple, changing our allegiance to a new master – be a slave of Jesus Christ instead of a slave to sin. Stay fresh, stay pure and in due time, as the Lord permits, you’ll enjoy drinking fresh water from your own well.